A few years ago I was on a “I’m going to make a difference in this world!” kick and thought the best way to do that would be – but of course – to make a site! Isn’t that what we do to get our voices heard now? So, I quickly ran to my desk and started coming up with ideas.
After what seemed like forever sitting in front of my computer covered in Sharpie covered post-it notes, I came up with a name. Ardent Bliss. I loved how it sounded rolling off my tongue, and I loved how it looked written out. Ardent Bliss. ardent bliss. ardentbliss.com. Everything seemed perfect for what I had envisioned in my head.
What does it mean? Let’s break it down:
intensely devoted, eager, or enthusiastic; zealous: an ardent theatergoer. an ardent student of French history.
Ardent Bliss: the art of being passionate about being happy.
I won’t lie, I struggle with being happy. A lot. As someone who suffers from both depression and anxiety, it’s hard for me to always be content with where I am, who I am, and my path. BUT. I am also optimistic… to a fault, really. I always look at the bright side of things, and I am always sure that there are a million and four different reasons to love life and love yourself if you just look hard enough.
My passion in life has always been to help. To sympathize, to empathize (and oof! do I do that a lot), and to share my stories and my thoughts to let you know that you are not alone. When I was growing up I wanted to be a teacher. And then an author. And then a therapist. And then a photographer. All of these were fueled by the need to help the people I come in contact with and maybe change their outlook on – well – everything. I wanted to help.
And so, with inspiration from sites such as Hello Giggles and Brave Girls Club, the idea of Ardent Bliss was born. I wanted to create a site based on self love and positive living, where you could find inspiring blog posts, articles, and pretty graphics with loving quotes all in one place. It would be my happy little footprint in the world.
Great, right? So if this all happened years ago, why is it not already an internet sensation that you see getting reposted on Facebook over and over?
Firstly, I’m a bit of a procrastinator. Alright, I’m like the Queen Procrastinator in the world of New Ideas. I kept putting it off, because the idea itself seemed great, but there was so much to do in order to get it going. I’m pretty sure I got as far as creating a Facebook Page (which is collecting dust) and putting a tiny “Coming Soon!” sign up on the site itself. And there it sat.
Secondly, if I’m being completely honest… My self doubt was throwing a huge party in my head. This is just going to be a silly thing that you’re going to grow bored up and it will never amount to anything so why even bother? it said. There are already HUGELY popular and successful sites that are doing EXACTLY what you want to do – and they’re obviously doing it better than you ever will… so why even bother? they laughed. Seriously, my brain can be a raging bitch sometimes.
So, I took the easy way out and made a little instagram account and posted some pretty pictures with nice quotes on them and called it a day.
Safe. Done. Moving on.
But that need didn’t ever really go away. That idea had nestled herself on a couch in the corner of the Self-Hate party that was raging in my head, and she was playing with a cute little cat and wasn’t moving anywhere. That idea was quiet and a bit of a wallflower, but she was still there.
Fast forward to a few weeks ago when I had just uprooted my entire life and moved 1300 miles away from where I’ve always called home. My mental stability started to be in serious question, and I started feeling lost and confused and lonely and everything just kind of was tossed up in the air.
Suddenly, it hit me like a ton of bricks.
This whole ardent bliss idea? This whole movement that I wanted to create for the world? It wasn’t just to make a difference in someone’s life. It was to make a difference in MY life! Who the f*ck cares if there are a million different sites out there doing what I want to do? The point isn’t to be the first. The point is to do something that means something TO ME. I need this project. I mean, it would be absolutely fantastic if it turned into the next New Thing, but I need this for myself.
And so, I am starting. It’s far from being ready at this point in time, but the gears are turning and the project is in motion and it’s fun. Last night was the first night in longer than I can remember where I couldn’t sleep – not because I was filled with anxiety about whatever my brain was worried about – but because it was filled with ideas. Swirling and growing.
That little wallflower idea at that Self Hate party being thrown in my head has become the Belle of the ball and she is SLAYING, people.
I cannot. Wait.