As I have been sharing on social media a bit lately, I have been struggling.
There has been a lot of little (and not so little) situations that have been popping up in my life recently and I have been trying my hardest to not drown in the world of self pity.
Not always as easy as it seems.
It’s been about three or so weeks now since everything started slowly falling apart, but I haven’t cried. I haven’t fallen apart.
Until the other day, I had a moment.
I was in my bedroom, folding laundry while blaring my “Nostalgia: The Ultimate Playlist” on Spotify. I was trying to stay upbeat and I was bopping and singing along (or yelling along, if I’m honest) with the songs…
…and then Coldplay’s “Fix You” came on.
My mood immediately fell. Before I knew it, I was sunk down onto the floor, clutching a sweater, and staring at the wall, and the tears just started to fall. Everything that had been building up inside me started to seep out. Not into a waterfall of hiccups and sobs, but just a few tears that blurred my vision and made me realize that everything was definitely getting to me.
Once the song was over, I wiped the tears, stood up, and continued folding. Continued singing along to the next song and carried on with my day.
Yesterday, the same kind of moment happened. I was driving home from work and “The Quiet Things That No One Knows” by Brand New came on, and my vision blurred once again. The song ended, and a happier song followed… and I was okay again.
It amazes me how music can completely transform you. Into both extremes. I’m grateful that I am able to express my emotions and let them come out without falling completely into pieces.